Where My Soul Song Can Sigh

how long have I been carrying this world?
I cannot know answers that I’ve never heard
but it seems like it began lifetimes ago.

for I have created its art with my struggles,
the woes of those who similar have suffered
friends who enjoy the agony that’s my mother.

yet by this heaviness my arms are now giving,
all the universe is tumbling to its sinking
landing into those who in gravity will stay.

I cannot remember the soul fragments felled
for I never saw the whole I once eagerly held
eyes never seeing truth, by salty tears swelled

but now I’ve lost all my effort and my will
to advertise this my pain, to decorate my kills
so here I alone remain wondering, floating, still

being from where I imagine the monsters receding
light receiving whatever my dark ocean did hide
that I long to be where my soul song can sigh